Burnout Has a Smiling Face

April 27, 2022

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Random Thoughts

🤷‍♀️ "Burnout Has a Smiling Face" or "Just Another Burnout" which title do you like better?

My burnout journey started in September 2021.

I have never reached the state of burnout before. Somehow I always dodged it with some luck and some awareness, I hope. But this time I didn’t, I couldn’t. I don’t know why, maybe I was too distracted at this point and also very emotional. I was distracting myself with many things. I was even a mentor of 3 Spanish entrepreneurs for a few months during this time… and then I decided to start this initiative with my newsletter. So smart, right :D Let’s add ​another thing in the basket of distractions, another task in the to do list… 🤷‍♀️

September – December:

In short my burnout journey went like this: I started to have minor yet many health issues. I don’t want to bore you with details but there were issues I needed to fix connected with at least 5 different organs and systems in my body aaand started to have a few anxiety attacks per month. The regular migraines and neck pain aside. So I started going to doctors, taking medications, treating the issues one by one with the standard methods, with some homeopathy as well, herbs, food supplements, new habits, energy treatments, going to psychotherapy, painful yet useful acupuncture treatment, I even started doing yoga with a teacher, one on one.

In January I spent the month mainly at home with the following schedule:


week 1: Recover from holidays and get my heart tested
week 2: Start Invisalign treatment (story, BG only) and wisdom tooth extraction surgery
week 3: Being sick with Covid (quite sick)
week 4: Get wisdom tooth extraction surgery number 2

February-March:

Then I moved for a month and a half in the Dominican republic. I needed to change the scenery so badly so I went to a place that is sunny, that I have a few close people nearby to count on and to spend my birthday. Finally a sunny birthday, I was thinking. Then a day before my birthday, the war in Ukraine started… I posted 1 IG post during this Dominican Republic journey from day 1 and 1 reel in the very last days. 40 days. Somehow it felt wrong to share sunny pictures while a new war was rising. Being so deeply depressed, watching the news all night and half the day (the other half I tried working). Went to the beach almost only during dinner time and swam exactly 6 times (4 times in the ocean and 2 times in the pool). I joined a volunteer initiative to help refugees coming in Bulgaria and supported with the website (the other volunteers deserve all the credit since I joined a bit late when the heavy lifting was already done). And later it became the government platform.

April:

I came back, was jet lagged from 7 hours difference, didn’t sleep for 3 days and on the 4th day I went on a 10-day silent program (Plan to be). The first day I got a fever. But let me tell you about the program – it is a personal quest and a challenge (physical, phycological, mental, everything). The rules are: no phones, no internet, no books, no TV, no talking – focus on your internal conversation and nothing else. There is yoga, meditation, visualization, psychotherapy, and yumeiho therapy. Every day. And it’s on the beach so you can have the beach walks, the beach cries, the beach laughs by yourself, the talking to the seagulls… There were times I was screaming…hmm … singing “Watermelon Sugar High” and dancing on the beach… Alone. Yes, the program helped me a lot, it was a personal challenge yet at the same time it was a gift from myself to myself and damn, I deserved it.

In conclusion:

I don’t know if I am fully recovered from the burnout. All I know is that I am healthier and I feel calmer most of the time. I don’t know how I decided to share this with you, but it is late in the evening, I am home alone and I just started writing (even my hair is still wet from the shower and whoever knows me knows I never stay too long with wet hair :)). But now I understand when people say that when you get a burnout, you are out for 6 months… Let’s count together – 1. September, 2. October, 3. November, 4. December, 5. January, 6. February, 7. March… Today is the 27th of April… And I wasn’t completely out, you see, I was working, joining new initiatives, traveling, starting my newsletter, doing things for me. But yes, there were maybe 40% of myself that was fully functioning, and for the other 60% was my sick-and-tired-of-everything self.


I guess what I am trying to say is … don’t underestimate the burnout.

Get yourself together when you still can. And also – talk about it. I know it’s a cliche and kind of annoying since everyone is talking about it and having it lately… But think about it. This is exactly why it’s a cliche. Because it’s true. (I will finish with this cliche :D).


That was my update ☀️

Take care.

Love,
Polly

P.S. You know I love startups and entrepreneurship soo I am very happy with all the shows like WeCrashed, The Dropout, even started watching Shark Tank again :D That’s it. Consider yourself recommended to see them.

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